THE GROWTH: Me,my self and I

       As I grew up, life came to me slowly, and I began to embrace life. I realised I was growing up too fast and my mind was growing with it. I wanted to slow down. I wanted more out of life. I was picking up the pieces of the puzzles and solving them by myself. It was like time was not on my side; I needed to do SOMETHING, to be SOMETHING. I needed to write, to speak for people to hear me out. I thought about a lot of things. I could spend minutes talking to myself just to decide on the next step to take, i still do.
        Now that am all grown, I have come to realize that some things matter and some don't. You have RESPONSIBILITIES. You have CHOICES to make. The ones which will make or mar you. I am not complacent with where I am. I feel like there's a void that needs to be filled in my life. I feel like I am not in the right place. Sometimes I am restless, my thoughts are. Sometimes I am confused, I do not know which way to go, but I keep going, trying any and every opportunity that comes my way. My destination is vague, I don't have my life figured out just yet, but I keep hoping, hoping for something I cannot yet see. I've got many thing to sell out to the world, my gifts, my thoughts, my abilities. "How would they know I can do this", I ask myself. Why can't I just wake up one morning and live the life I've always wanted, dreamt about. Sometimes I am afraid because I'm slowly facing life; the reality of it. Life looks me in the face like "Now that you're here, what you gonna do?" I feel entangled in the webs of REALITY. Now, I feel more conscious of myself, of my body. Yes! My body is changing fast too. I begin to look at my body through a mirror I never noticed was there before. And when i look at the mirror, i see a well-defined figure with the edges, curves, flaws, and weight in the right places. I admire what i see. Then, I smile at the figure in the mirror, and she smiles back at me, giving me hope, assurance that everything is going to be okay, everything life throws at me, i am ready to face it. From that moment, I knew I can face what life brings to my doorstep. She gives me strength. I now realise, I love her. I have loved her even before now, but I didn't notice it. I love that figure in the mirror. I will always love her and nothing can change that.

Episode two:Is LOVE a determiner for CHEATING?

           On this episode, we're going to be focusing on the REASONS WHY MEN CHEAT. (MEN, not women). No one has ever really had the answer to why men cheat actually, i mean it baffles me to see a young man who has a pretty wife, mother to his children,a, woman who is hardworking, and respectful ,and yet her so called husband still cheats on her! I can never understand you guys (men).I mean what do you really want?
            Even if she's not giving you the doggy style and whatever style it is that you've imagined in your head, mehn!  You have to COMMUNICATE.. Yes!  Tell. It. To. Her! Sex chat with her, spice that shit up! 😋
            A man can cheat because he can cheat!  For me, there's actually no reason other than selfishness and discontentedness, and in some cases, DISTRUST. I've also come to realise on my own that people cheat all because they don't trust their spouses. They cheat because they do not trust their spouse not to do so, they don't want to feel played all along, so they just cheat in order not to be the only one that will be hurt when Yawa gas!🏃 (When the cat is let out of the bag)
              And please i just want to add finally that 🙅NO MAN must ever claim that "oh, i was drunk and i didn't know when i did it, she took advantage of me, she was all over me ". Oh, you mean you didn't know when your penis penetrated into her. You can as well say that you were dead while you did it!👏👏 Listen ladies, those are First -grade LIES. And you're going to be the biggest fool if you believe that sentence. If he want to perform any "drunken- sex, then he has got to be doing it with you!  **winks** 😏
            For the men in the house,kindly let us know why you cheat or why you think men cheat. For the ladies, your points matter too! 

Is LOVE a determiner for cheating?

Some will say when you have eaten a lot of Jollof rice at home, someday it will be good to try Fried rice outside, elsewhere 😏 be it in marriage, relationships, etc. When people (men especially) decide that its time to seek for something different outside their home, not because they're tired, but because they just want to explore. Really? Or is it because they don't love their spouse anymore?
       I start getting confused when i see people cheat on their wife or husband and still come back home to do the needful, take care of the home, care for the children's need and all of that. In fact a man can literally deal with anyone who dares to disrespect or hurt his wife,but it is this same man who tells his wife he is going somewhere, but actually goes somewhere else entirely!  Does it mean that LOVE is not really a determiner for cheating?
I mean you'll see a very beautiful, lovely and curvy woman, a home builder who is just perfect in your eyes,then you turn around and see that her husband is actually cheating on her with all that package?!!!  How come?
What is the cause actually?
Why do people cheat?
Why do men cheat?
Ever asked that question?
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BORE DOOM!: 7 things to do when you're bored

7 interesting things to do when you're bored
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Stop being BORED and get on BOARD! Feel that rhyme?lol... You know that feeling when you're way too bored to your bones that you can't even sleep? I've come to find out that people do a lot of things when they're bored. Let's read them,it could help you!
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1. Do a complete make-up on your face,and admire yourself so much in the mirror. After that,take nice pictures of yourself with different poses. Trust me,it works! You can take pictures with a new dress and shoe you just got and post it online ( that's if you have data)
2. Watch funny vide clips that make you laugh or take a peek at some old pictures,down to the new ones and probably laugh at them too!
3. You can make a video of yourself maybe singing ,or even dancing, or just talking
4. For those that have too much airtime,you can call up some old friends or new ones you haven't contactee in years! Seriously,it builds friendship too
5. Listen to music. Listen again and again... Music is life! It's a solace,at karst for me
6. See if you could write some sentences backwards on a paper or on your phone (while texting). This may be "brain- stressing" but its better than being hopelessly bored
7. The last resort is "SLEEPING" lol...this is the ultimate option mehn...Because if you are asleep, you won't even know you ate bored! OR even think of it!..you see!
Just try these simple steps and find yourself going out of the world of "boredom"
Because sometimes Boredom kills!

NIGERIAN MEN: UNPARDONABLE PERFECTIONISTS

Nigerian men: Unpardonable Perfectionists

Its been just 10 years Lola got married to her husband Lade.They are fine couples who you will fall in love with anytime you see them together.In church,at home,or anywhere. You will fall I'm love with being marriage if you know them. But we all know that marriage is not as rosy as it appears to be.In fact,the roses are filled with thorns sometimes and we try to uproot them!
Lade is a first-class perfectionist! He wants everything to be perfect, accurate.If I don't cook on time,he complains, if I take time to dress up for an occasion,the same.When I just gave birth to our baby,that was the worst! Because if the baby starts crying,he complains and shouts like I was the one who made her cry.He doesn't want to see a pin on the floor whenever am done with house chores! I must tell him virtually everything before I make any move! Its like he has a standard I've not met.I never seem to do anything right.And the way I cook? gosh! Or is it the way I fold the laundry?He seems to be complacent with nothing I do!
You can't please Nigerian men o! Instead you'll even feel guilty because you can't do anything to satisfy them,you'll probably end up making them angry.This has been extended to even sex! You can't seem to satisfy the as they go behind your back....anyway we're not going to talk about that now,that'll be topic for another day.Nigerian men believe were supposed to be angels while they make the home hell for us!
You guys need to change!

THE WEEKEND OF FASCINATORS!

THE WEEKEND OF FASCINATORS!

Cheers to the fascinator weekend!...lol. Last weekend was really a hectic one for me ad that was why I wasn't here a lot. I was very busy making different types of  FASCINATORS! Yes!..I said that! I wasn't even here yesterday and on Monday,but I'm here now so watsup people?... Okay,some people may be wondering what fascinators are. They are light head pieces made of sinamay, flowers, beads,feathers,sometimes even our local ankara materials and other African materials.You see Queen Elizabeth of England wearing them. We were them to church,to weddings, and other occasions. In Nigeria, they stand in replacement of hats,scarfs,head gears and the likes..they're easy to wear,instead of going through the stress tying scarfs.

Here,we see Catherine,the Duchess of Cambridge with her fascinator fastened to her hair. So yes! Now you know.
My fascinator business is yet to be established,you'll see!
I wasn't playing throughout, but I still need to visit y'all, cos I miss posting!
Have a happy week and stay blessed!

5 WEIRD THINGS WE DID AS KIDS/CHILDREN

5 weird things we did as kids or should I say CHILDREN

1. Run after our shadow or run from it. Some of us tried to catch up with our shadow anytime we see it on the floor or on a wall.lol...this was crazy! Because I even tried to hit it one time I saw my own shadow on the wall.

2. This one is for the girls or maybe ladies now:- We took paper and folded it into a small ball and put it in our clothes near the chest area just so it would look as if we had breasts o! Lemme not lie ehn,am guilty.Is nor my fault,me too wanted to have breasts like a big girl nau. Am sure its not only me,so if you are guilty, better share this,you know yourself

3. Okay,we know that most of opened the fridge in our house and light came on in the fridge,only for us to close it slowly to see if the light will still be on. Its like we wanted to catch the fridge to see if it was playing tricks on us. True or false?

4. For the ladies in the house,I did this one too. Me I like play so don't blame me. Who chewed bubble gum and later cut it in small pieces and place it on our fingernails to feel like we fixed nails like those big aunties we saw those times?

5. Or when our mum buys us skirts or dresses,we'll pull them up and over our knees a little so it can be short. I don't really know what we were thinking at our little age sef?

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*Please comment guys and girls if y'all can relate to this.You can also add some weird stuff you did when you were a kid.
Tell us your secret *winks*don't be shy...lol,its safe here with me

VIRGINITY; YOU DON'T GET A TROPHY FOR BEING A VIRGIN!

                            YOU DON'T GET A TROPHY FOR BEING A VIRGIN!

         I repeat; you don't get a trophy for being a virgin. Besides why is virginity a feminine phenomenon? Even the Bible did not leave it out only to females. A man has got to keep his virginity too!I know some folks won't wanna discuss this because to them its a controversial issue.Am sorry to say,to me,its not,at all!
         To be frank and candid,to be a virgin is godly,its good because both genders are to keep themselves till marriage.It is like the best wine preserved for the day of celebration. But we also know it doesn't make y'all SAINTS or ANGELS.
         To be a 'non-virgin' is not a crime also. You don't get arrested for it,except some inhumane and crazy laws that permit it though,because its stupid when I hear stories of men dumping their wives because they found out she's not who they thought she was after.
          Listen guys,am not saying virginity is a bad thing,but it simply doesn't make your husband love you better,nor does it stop him from cheating on you! Yes dear,it can't.It also doesn't get you a spouse quickly. I have two words for y'all ladies posing on social media as ''Virgin'' - NOBODY CARES...really.thank you.
As children,we were thought to be pure,godly, we were thought to be the lower sex,be confined because that is how it has always been. But here's one QUESTION:Why don't they teach the boys how to be good and loyal husbands,how to wait till marriage, how to be pure and godly men too?Virginity is a thing of the mind.
 The comment box is down there people...please feel free to drop your opinions... Thank you
     IS VIRGINITY REALLY A VIRTUE?  WHAT DO YOU THINK

HUMOUR FOR THE DAY

                                    Humour for the day!
Have you ever been in a situation where some guy approaches you and started talking to you about being his friend,asking for your number and all that...not knowing your mum was right behind you! Your trying to hive d guy signs,telling him to shut up and move away,but he was too dumb to understand you? Then your mum finally comes and VOILÀ!! it turns out that your mum knows this guy. Chai! God punish devil. I mean I didn't even have interest in the poor guy but again! My mum spoiled his patrol sha.
That day was funny and at the same time embarrassing for the guy sha.
Happy Tuesday people!

##Follow me on Twitter @ijay_speaks for interesting tweets! *winks*

THE MOTHER-IN-LAW: YOUR MOTHER OR YOUR WIFE'S FOOD

THE MOTHER-IN-LAW: YOUR MOTHER OR YOUR WIFE'S FOOD.
         You came home to realize your mum came visiting in your house. She just finished preparing your best soup! And your wife as usual had already prepared your dish so you can eat when you come back from work. Both dishes are set on the table,and both women beckon you to come and eat. You are tempted because it was your favorite food, but then you can't reject your wife's food also. Which one will you choose? And note that:
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a) your mum and wife are not really in good terms and you are aware of it
b) you love your mum and also respect your wife so much
c) both women has complained to you about each other's behavior,and you know your mum can be a hard but to crack sometimes.

   Bros oya! What are you going to do? Guys which food will you eat? For those people that like food...lol...will you eat both for that night?
Ladies are not left out of this question please!

**Follow me on Twitter @ijay_speaks for interesting tweets

"Will you marry me" and Will you be my main chick?"

     
   

     As famous as this sentence is ;"WILL YOU MARRY ME?"and as it takes ladies to cloud nine,and another world of great joy,it clearly means other things to different "male species". I mean men. It can also mean;" WILL YOU BE MY MAIN CHICK?" (My major woman) And the lady in whose heart is filled with joy at that special moment of her dear life says "YES". Lol...funny right?
        To some men especially, this sentence only means that he only wants one woman in his house to make it a home,one woman to be the mother of his children, one woman to bear his surname,one woman to basically be and do everything,but that doesn't mean he doesn't have other ladies to attend to outside. It just means she's the only one who has a ring on her finger. That is the only difference! The RING!
     There was a story a woman shared online about her husband who was having an affair with other women. She kept praying and praying like a " religious-like" woman would do,and hoping for a change,just like the woman in the movie "WAR ROOM". So another woman commented that same thing happened to her but she had to deal with the problem physically( challenging her husband's concubine) According to her " War Room nondey work for Naija o! Na for Oyinbo pipu dem! 😂😂😂 really? Oyinbo people? Lmao!!! Another woman was like she deals with the problem properly. Apparently, she knows all her husbands concubines!😱 Ha! She has even seen them and does not really have a problem with it as long as she us well taken care of by her husband. Nawa oh!👏👏👏
     So that is why sometimes this "Will you marry me" word may not be what it seems. A lot of ladies still dream and hope for the question to be asked.,(like its a life goal). Will you rather be a praying woman who hopes for a change, or the woman who digs it with her rival or the very accommodating woman who has the husband's concubine as friends? All the same the choice is yours? Which one of the actions will you carry out? 😁

A Night With a Stranger

       What kind of situation led to the the separation of the lovely couple that everyone admires in the neighborhood?
       Mr. Johnson has been married to Victoria for about 6 years,and they have a child together. They were one of the couples whose LOVE RELATIONSHIP would have made any one(single or not) to wish to be like them. Mtlr Johnson is a handsome businessman who any woman would like,and his wife Vicky was a banker. They had even coined a name for themselves ;VIXEN (which is the combination of 'Vic' and "Son" in their names). Anywhere they went,their love glowed for everyone to see.
       Well...Mr. Johnson was in his office one day when a lady visited him and presented a business proposal to him, of which they later discussed about in a place. They later hung out sometimes during lunch and talked about business. Somehow, they got a little bit closer and formed a close acquaintance. Rita was a beautiful and intelligent young lady whose smile lit up the place. A fateful evening came, it was raining. Johnson had already almost gotten to the house when he forgot a very important document, so he drove back to his office, only to find Rita sitting on one of the chairs in the reception, with her suit(which was drained in water) off,shivering. He immediately advanced for her to take a warm cup of coffee in his office till he finds what he come to collect. And they went. That was when the devil stung! Well, Rita did not see the need to take coffee, instead she came on straight to Mr. Johnson's body for warmth! This was the kind of warmth she wanted. So,she succeeded in making both of them warm,and the deed was done! He had slept with her.
       Since that evening, Johnson couldn't stop thinking of what he did. For weeks ,he felt guilty. He loved his wife more than he could even explain. How could he have done this? How would his dear wife feel if he tells her? What has he done! He thought of all these as tears rushed from his eyes while he was in his office. But this night...this night,he made up his mind to let the cat out of the bag. Sitting on the edge of the bed that night,he suddenly blurted out; "Honey... I...I cheated on you". It was as if the whole world fell on Victoria. She was hurt. And he begged incessantly, but all to no avail. Since then,the marriage of the once lovely couple went sour and sad.
       The BIG questions are: If you were Johnson,are you going to tell your wife you have been unfaithful? If you were Victoria, what exactly are you going to do?
       I need your view,opinions,and advices because a lot of marriages go through this kind of challenges everyday. How can Johnson fix this?how can they live together in love again? Advise both of them.
     

CAN A MAN BE ACCUSED OF RAPING HIS WIFE

Basically,we all know that "RAPE" is a forbidden act no one wants to experience. It is a form of having sexual intercourse without the person's consent, with or without force. It may be done by deceit,influence or even the cause of drugging someone and commiting the act without the person knowing!(yes,I know people don't know that this one can also be rape. Well...now you know). But a lot of people are still confused and want to know if a man could be accused of raping his wife. Because there are situations where a man would rape his wife because she refused to have sexual intimacy with him. Sometimes,the man might even injure the wife as a result of forcing her to have sex. Can this be called rape? 

Okay,what if the wife drags her husband to Court,will she succeed in the case? Will the man be punished? What will he be accused of if he injured her in the process? These are questions many people ask.Or is it because a man can go into the farm whenever he likes(according to the Holy Books) something like this happen?Or do people just use this phrase to justify their acts? I don't know. We seldom times hear of these kind of cases because some women are even scared of taking their own husbands to jail. How is that even possible! They try to stay and save their marriage instead. But on the other hand, some women summon up courage to do that.
       My own opinion is that the woman should be ready to have sexual intercourse with her husband when he needs it,afterall,that is one of the reasons for marriage; COMPANIONSHIP. On the other hand, the men,hmmmm...the men should "try" to put into consideration his spouse's feelings as well as her reasons for the refusal. End of matter! Still,some people may disagree with me. That is why this article is put up here. I want to know people's opinions too! So feel free to share your sincere thoughts people!

Student and Teacher Drama!

 Can a student write an exam in anything other than in his uniform?

        Anybody may easily answer this question,being that a student is recognized and identified through his uniform. But it seems that some students may want to do otherwise, only that I am not sure if that student will be allowed into the exam hall,let alone take the exam.
       The retired custom officer; Hameed Ali was appointed by our President Muhammadu Buhari as the Comptroller of the Customs Service. He was instructed to come in his uniform for screening by the Senate of which he refused giving his reasons. He was summoned again today being the 16th of March,2017 but he did not still appear in his custom "uniform". The Senate refused to give him audience because of this reason; Hameed had bluntly disobeyed again saying that he is not obligated to put on any uniform and that there was no law which provides that he must wear his "uniform",saying he would bring his lawyer to defend this fact. Hmmm,for something as easy as wearing uniform! Some people will say it is indiscipline,stubbornness, and what have you. But I am just thinking; " What is he afraid or ashamed of ?" Can he not just get a new one (even if he misplaced his former ones) or he should borrow or something! But looking at this matter in another perspective, is it necessary or a must for him to come to the House of Senate in his custom uniform to answer questions? Is it not his good work that really matters? Anyway,Hameed Ali is pardoned for now,to appear at the Senate House of Assembly at another fixed date. Let us wait and see if he'll comply to the instructions given him.
       Till then,I cannot answer the question above. I don't know if the teacher will allow the student take the exam!