We all have made our spouses feel jealous one way or the other before. And we also like when our partner is jealous. It gives us that sense of reassurance that they're still crazy about us. We feel loved. We intentionally make our partners jealous just to tease their emotions.
Jealousy is healthy for a relationship. It is just a little reminder that our partners still care about us. It has nothing to do with being insecure. A true lover feels jealous. He doesn't want the same intimacy and attention to be attributed to another person. He can't share you with anyone.
Well, here is bad news for y'all; I've come to realise that it is not all jealousy that is as positive as the one I explained earlier. It is not as sweet as we think. Sometimes your partner may be displaying some signs of negative jealousy, a jealousy that has gone from sweet to sour. This is called "Negative Jealousy".
Negative jealousy is not healthy for a relationship. It springs up from Insecurity, fear of loosing the other partner and lack of trust. When your partner suddenly starts to display extreme jealousy over you, it can lead to erratic behaviours of the jealous partner. Negative jealousy further leads to suspicion, anger, distrust, manipulation, interrogation, meanness, stalking or spying and possessive behaviour.
I once heard of a girl whose boyfriend gets irritated just because she is speaking to a guy who is her friend, even if it's just a neighbour, he just flips,get angry. He is jealous of what she does and seeks to achieve in life because he is afraid he might lose her, he is jealous of the friends she keeps, constantly calls her just to know where she is and who she's hanging out with and will never believe her and constantly thinks she is lying to him.
A jealous person will suspect you are up to something at every given time, a jealous person is so insecure that he'll want you to profess and assure him of your love and faithfulness to him always. An extremely jealous person will even accuse you of cheating and try to control you, and the kind of friends you hang around with. Actually, he doesn't like your friends. He wants you alone to himself and he is worried when you hang out alone with them. Jealousy is extreme when your partner tries to manipulate you. Sometimes, he or she might be abusive, i.e, psychologically, he'll make you feel less confident of yourself and try to bring you down sometimes. He will tell you that you are not pretty enough. He will tell you "No one wants you" "No man will look at you" "you're only good for me, in fact, am only helping you". So you in turn begins to think that way, that you also want to please him alone and not even yourself. He easily gets angry and is constantly mean to you. A jealous partner may love you but is insecure.
We've heard of cases where a woman killed her husband because she thought he was cheating or become violent and give some scars to her spouse, or men who beat their spouses on a regular basis because of jealousy and insecurity.
The baffling thing is that people who experience this kind of jealous are not even aware that they do. They only see it as their partner's way of keeping check on them, a cute way of showing deep affection, concern and attention for them. So they are blind to the signs of negativity their partner is selling out. Negative jealousy can never be good for a relationship. The quicker we observe and notice the behaviours of our partners, the better for us. Because behaviours that shows jealousy in extremity can be dangerous in a long run. This is even one of the causes or drive of Domestic Violence. Many who are victims will agree will testify to this. Let's make sure your spouse is jealous for the right reasons!
I want to know what you all think about this matter. Do you have any story to tell?
Feel free to comment on this page and share your stories guys! 😘
No comments:
Post a Comment